G’s Journal: ‘Yes. This is about Valentine’s Day’

(Editor’s note: This is part of a recurring series of personal narratives by Gurjevan Bansal, a staff writer who will be sharing glimpses of her own unique life experiences. Any opinions expressed are not necessarily those of The Saber staff.)

I don’t understand the appeal of people making out in the dirty bathrooms. It’s not cute and neither is it romantic, do you have no standards? 

Just imagine, you go into a stall and you’re trying to take this absolutely massive, explosive, volcanic dookie, and you just hear people making out in the stall right next to you. Let’s just hope that they’re only making out, because the amount of rumors I have heard of people doing other things, in these nasty school bathrooms, is horrifying.

Couples are very cute, but only when they’re doing cute stuff. In appropriate places.

Yes. This is about Valentine’s Day. No, I don’t hate Valentine’s Day. Or at least I think I don’t. I don’t particularly like Valentine’s Day either. Why are you being extra sweet to your loved one for one day, shouldn’t you be sweet to them everyday? Couples are very cute, but only when they’re doing cute stuff. In appropriate places. 

I always see couples holding hands, which I think is cute, but they’re always doing it in the middle of the hallway, and they don’t leave enough space on the sides for other pedestrians to get in front of them. Which ticks me off, because I’m trying to get to class and sit down. The flight of stairs that I just took, took the air out of my lungs. So, I need you to move to the side, or stop holding hands in crowded hallways, or else I’m going to start stepping on the back of these people’s shoes. 

I actually really love it when people buy gifts for others on Valentine’s day, especially when it’s not for a partner but for a friend. (Friends, take the hint, I like chocolate especially with caramel, and chocolate covered pretzels. Or pretzels in general). Like that stuff is so sweet and cute, and it shows the different definitions people have of “Loved ones,” even if that love is platonic. (Did that convince y’all?)

I hope Cupid shoots everyone with his bow and arrow. After all, red is the color of love.

Sometimes I see couples and I am genuinely rooting for their well being and prosperity. Like if you’re a good friend of mine, then I will always cheer you on, even if you are dating someone who has like four different red flags. Don’t worry bestie, I know not all of us can see colors. Then, there are couples who I just hope break up. On Valentine’s Day. 

Maybe there is something deeply wrong with my inner brain matter, but I would absolutely love watching, in real life, people breaking up on Valentine’s Day. Like I don’t wish it on anybody, but in the chance that were to happen, I would not be the best person to come to, for comfort. I would probably laugh at you. Yes, I know. Some nuts and bolts are missing from my head, but you get what you get, take it or leave it. 

I guess I enjoy it so much because these couples are usually constantly oversharing about the stuff that they do, so once they break up, the only thing that I can do is laugh. Awww, I thought you two were planning on getting married after high school? I thought you two loved each other and never wanted to be separated? Where’s that love now? Gone. Just like the relationship. 

I think I’ve shared enough about my reasons as to why I think Valentine’s Day is mid at best. I hope Cupid shoots everyone with his bow and arrow. After all, red is the color of love.